This is NOT an anti-Krishna blog

I really have to thank everyone for reading this, and for all the amazing e-mails, text messages, facebook messages, phone calls and conversations. The response has completely blown me away, and has been beyond all expectations I had for how this little project would turn out. It's been amazing reading everyone's responses, and seeing how different people pick out different aspects of this story, and use it to reflect on their own personal lives in such unique ways. I think the openness of this blog has inspired people to be open about their own lives and situations, and honestly acknowledge that things aren't perfect, and they need rectification. To me, that is an amazing response.

I can't even describe how important and positive all the support and encouragement has been for me. This has been exactly what I needed at exactly the right time. The fact that it took a lot of guts to even start writing this blog made me feel like it was a big risk. What if everyone saw that I am actually a weak person? What if people attacked me for being honest and open about the negative aspects of a community? What if this attempt to be open, honest and heartfelt resulted in me being insulted, brought down and hurt more? But so far, the response has been so uplifting, this has easily been my most inspiring last few days since I made this change in my life.

But I did just want to clarify a few things. For starters, this blog is NOT an attempt to criticize the Krishna community, philosophy or lifestyle. That is not it's purpose, and I am a little concerned by the fact some people, both Krishna devotees AND people in general are taking it as such. I still have a lot of friends who are Hare Krishnas, and I have full respect for their community. This blog is about ME. It's selfish. I am talking about MY experiences, MY life within their community. I am willing to be totally and brutally honest about it all, and about my personal shortcomings. As my blog carries on, and as the story progresses, I think that there will be a few twists and turns along the way that will surprise people, because they will reveal a lot about the basic human condition. I am totally willing to admit my own mistakes, and I am willing to acknowledge that sometimes, the ways that I acted within this community were as bad if not worse than the things I have so far described. And that is MY fault, not the communities.

There are problems in every tight knit community. I received one message from someone I feel to be a close friend who mentioned that if they were to write a similar blog to mine about their experiences within the radical activist community it would probably come across just as negative and anti, even though they are still fully active in that community, and consider it their home.

I think it is important for the growth of a community to acknowledge it's shortcomings. If it can't, problems will just continue. I hope that if this blog challenges anyone they will take on board that challenge, acknowledge what needs to be changed in their own lives, and make the tough and scary decision to improve their lives or their community. I can see that is happening already for some. And that is so inspiring.

One final thing: Yeah, I know there are grammar and spelling errors, which probably make things difficult to read or understand sometimes. And while I AM sorry about that, I'm not going to go back and edit these entries. One reason is I don't have the time. Another reason is I don't want to risk second guessing some of my openness and changing things. As this blog progresses, and maybe even comes to some what of a conclusion, I may actually consider committing this all to print. At which time I will probably edit it, or more likely, I will ask someone else to edit it for me. :)

So anyway, THANKS HEAPS!